Six months! Half a year!!

Dear Zane-

Well, you went and did it.  You turned six months old this past Wednesday, and frankly, I'm not sure I approve.  Oh, sure, all the new things you are doing, like sitting up unassisted, getting into crawling position, rolling and scooting your way around a room exploring your environment, and just breaking into peals of laughter - these are all great, and I know they are things you would not be doing if you were only, say, 2 months old.  But what has happened to my baby?  You are growing up too quickly, and I'm just not ready for that to happen yet.  I really didn't know I would feel this way, I figured that since you were a boy, I would feel like you were tough enough to take on the world as soon as you were born.  But no, all I want to do is hold you and protect you and take care of you - but it seems like you're really on the road to independence, so I need to get used to that. 

One change is that this week, your sister is home with us on Mondays and Fridays.  It certainly leads to a different experience than the normal low-key days you and I have come to expect.  I know I've said it before, but it remains true, that it amazes me how well the two of you interact together.  I know that you don't understand the relationship yet, but the two of you just so obviously love each other, and love playing with each other, even in the limited way you are able to right now.  I'm sure there will be times, probably soon, when you pull her hair in a way that she doesn't think is the funniest thing on earth, and she will probably pull your hair back, but right now, she is so gentle with you, and lets you explore her in the same way you are exploring everything else - roughly.  She can make you laugh just by calling your name in her very highest toddler voice, and loves to read you books.  You are still the best way to wake her up in the morning, and often you are the only one who can coax a smile out of her. 

I am still not working, but I am doing some volunteer lawyering for clients who need help but can't afford it.  I will be brining you to a meeting with a client next week, and frankly, if I could do that with a paying job, our lives would be so nice. 

I admit that it's not always easy, but I am so thankful that I get all this time with you - it hurts my heart a little (sometimes a lot) to think about what's going to happen when that perfect job presents itself and I have to bring you to school with Ada (ok, to the "Baby Room", as Ada would say.)  In some ways, I think it was easier with Ada although it seemed really hard at the time - but she was at school from three months on, so that's been her life.  You, however, have been with me 24/7 for all but a few days since you were born, and I think we've both grown very accustomed to our arrangement. 

It seems strange that you are really gearing up to crawl.  I know our lives are about to change dramatically.  I know we shouldn't compare, but Ada never had any interest in small objects, and was always pretty content to NOT put things in her mouth (except her fingers).  You, on the other hand, are definitely an explorer, and your current method of exploring is to put as many things in your mouth as possible.  This is normal 6-month old behavior, but it's not something we're used to, and we're definitely going to have to be more diligent about getting things off the floors and low shelves.
 

You have not been feeling well off and on for a few weeks, and we were/are pretty sure you're getting more teeth.  However, today has just been awful, and I just gave you some ibuprofen that I hope will help you sleep tonight.  It was the first day of the new semester of music class, and you just felt so crummy we had to sit a lot of it out.  Ada asked after you many times - "Zane still sick?", and when you were in a calm mood, "Zane happy now?"  I hope you're happier tomorrow, I hate to see you like this.
 

Anyway, here you are on Wednesday when you turned six months.  

We are so glad we have you, and I can't imagine our little family without you.  You are a cool kid, and I am so looking forward to seeing what kind of person you turn into in the next few months.  Keep it up, and please please please remember - night time is for sleeping.

 Love, Mama 

Laughing boy: 

This seems to be your favorite thing to do at the zoo so far, but I have faith that you'll be more interested in the animals soon: